Maid of Honor Meltdown: A Wedding After-Party Disaster with DJ ESG

What's up guys? Dj ESG Honest Wedding Advice, season number 8, and today I'm talking about drinking too much until you cry. Why, what the fuck am I watching when I see these girls get so drunk that they start to cry? What are you crying for? I don't get it. I don't understand. I had a wedding about two weeks ago. I loved this couple, absolutely loved this couple. They were amazing Fucking A man. I loved the two of them.

So I tell them ahead of time I go listen, make sure at the end of the wedding, you have somebody to take the food home with you, because they're going to give you this particular venue, all the food to take home, and you stuff it in your car and you take it home. You're not going to want to do that. You're going to be in a bus or you know some shuttle or something like that. So get somebody to take home the food for you. So I guess they asked one of the bridesmaids or the maid of honor or matron of honor, I'm not sure who it was. So the wedding's over and we're cleaning up and she's sitting there at a table and she's over and over again talking about I don't want to do this, I'm tired. He doesn't want to do this, meaning I guess her husband or boyfriend he's tired, he worked all day. He's tired. She must've said the word I'm tired about 20 times. And the venue we're just sitting there looking. We're like what the fuck is she talking about? Like just put the food in your fucking car, drive it home. It's two boxes. Take it out when you get there, put it in the refrigerator and go to sleep, you know? And she's saying, no, I'm tired, he's tired, we're tired. I'm like, are you really doing this right now to the bride?

And then, all of a sudden, she starts crying and she is fucking crocodile tears everywhere. She is going fucking ballistic, like she just lost her cat, her dog, her grandmother, her mother and like eight friends at the same time. That is how bad. She's crying, like the meme from Monsters Inc. Crying.

And look at the people from the venue because the waitstaff's still there counting out their tip money, waiting for everybody to leave so they can clean the tables. I'm like, yeah, what the fuck is she crying about? And the one staff member looks at me she goes, she doesn't want to bring the food home because she's tired and he's tired and they're tired. I'm like no, they're not tired, they're drunk, they're shit-faced drunk. The bride asked them to do one fucking thing, and that was bring the food home. And she can't even handle that because she drank and put it in the refrigerator. And then she's crying and crying, and crying and we're just watching this, like what the fuck are you crying for? Oh, my goodness gracious, why do people cry? Like you get drunk, you just I don't know crying. What does the crying part do?

So finally, after 20 minutes or so, the bride finally gets into the shuttle and leaves 20 minutes later than she was supposed to. I don't know where this maid of honor went. No idea. I don't know where the food went. I have no clue what happened to that either. And then all of a sudden, everybody leaves and we just look at each other like did that really just happen? Please, if you're going to have somebody, bring something home for you after the fact because I know bride and grooms don't want to do that because you're having a good time and if that's somebody who's not going to get was not mature, I'm just saying like and if you know, you get that junk and start crying because you don't want to do something, because you turn into like a five-year-old, then, honest to God, you're not the right person to actually do anything. When you're fucking shit-faced and loaded. I'm telling you it's great advice Take it or leave it. I'm ESG Peace, love and God above and I.