Speaker 1: 0:14

What's up guys? Dj ESG Honest Wedding Advice, season number 12,. And today it's where I start to tell crazy wedding stories from the past. Now everybody knows when. You've been doing this for 30 plus years, man, you have some great stories and I have a ton of them. I've told some before on just my audio podcast, but today we get the visual of some of these wedding stories, and I'm going to start today with one of my favorites. This one might go down in the history of all wedding stories, but I'm going to come right out of the bat with a great one.

Speaker 1: 0:46

So I was working at a place probably about six, seven, eight years ago a country club up where I live in Richboro, pennsylvania, and I was in one room and there was a bride in the other room and I was doing the ceremony. And as I'm doing the ceremony, I hear some talking coming over the wall from the other space and I didn't really know what was going on, but it was a little bit loud. So we were like yo, you need to quiet them down because we can't hear what's going on over here, right? So ceremony's over, we go into the cocktail space and I sort of walk through the building. It's like I knew everybody. I was like yo, what the fuck's going on? Like, why are we screaming over here? So come to find out that the groom was nowhere to be found and the groomsmen were nowhere to be found, like they weren't even there. Like the bride's in the fucking room crying and the group like we're fucking a groomsman at all right, this is where it gets so well it's, it was sad at the time, but this is where it gets really funny. Like telling the story later, all right. So the groom decides that he's supposed to pick up his tux and the groomsmen's clothes the day before, but they got shit faced and they didn't want to pick it up the day before. So thursday night was like the rehearsal dinner. Friday night was just do whatever you want to do and we'll see you Saturday. So Friday they never went and picked up their tuxes and never went and picked up their suits from the dry cleaner. So this is going right. Saturday morning they get up I don't even know what time it was, maybe 10 and they go to the dry cleaner. Now nobody decided to check with the dry cleaner to see if they were even fucking open on Saturday. Guess who was closed the dry cleaner. And guess what?

Speaker 1: 2:25

Dry cleaners don't have available Cell phone numbers. They just have that one phone that sits in the office on the wall. It's an old school phone. They're usually Asian and you know that doesn't mean anything. I'm just telling you, like what you're usually seeing in a dry cleaner, and it's one phone sits on the wall. You call, they answer it and you know, only time they answer it's when they're there. There's really no voicemail. You just have to call when they're there.

Speaker 1: 2:51

So they get to the door and they're knocking on the door and there's a number and they're calling, their phones ringing and you can hear it ringing inside from what I heard. And like they call the police and they want to knock the door down and shit, but nobody knows how to. You know the police aren't going to just break the door down. You're not going to break even if you break the door down. You know those long things of clothes that all over, like nobody fucking knew which one it was. They're all covered in in plastic. We need to rip down the entire dry cleaners.

Speaker 1: 3:16

Uh, you know place and it's not like you can go online and look for a phone number, because most dry cleaners own multiple businesses. And just because the dry cleaners is called this dry cleaner, it might be under a subsidiary, a subsidiary business where they own, like multiple things. It's LLC. It's probably somewhere across the sea is where the fucking business is located. You're not finding it, like you know.

Speaker 1: 3:40

So they call the landlord up. The landlord's like oh, I only have one phone number and the phone number is the one that's ringing inside. Well, do you have a name? Yeah, he has a name, but the name is it's like a real short name and you go look it up and nobody knows which one it is, because there's a hundred of them. They don't know which one it is, so they want to and this is now an hour into it. So they want to break the. No, you're not breaking the door down Like, you're not doing that, like and the groom is getting pissed, from what I heard. So the cop was like I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell you. So now you hear the bride, like I'm still in my cocktail, but you can like, literally, like you feel this down the hallway, like I could feel like what was going on down the hallway, like I could just feel it was just something. It was almost like fucking Sylvia Brown and crossing over with John Edwards. If you're my age you know who I'm talking about.

Speaker 1: 4:30

And so they go to Kohl's. They're all in Kohl's, flying through Kohl's. From what I heard, from what I got the story flying through Kohl's. From what I heard from what I got the story pulling out suits and pants and this and that, and they're trying to mix and match. But you know that not everybody's going to mix and match perfectly, because if Kohl's had every single piece of garment there humanly possible to fit every single person, that was. And then they're going as fast as they can. They're throwing shit all over the place. The Kohl's manager, you know he or she probably felt bad for them, whatever, but you're not going to throw clothes everywhere.

Speaker 1: 5:01

So an hour and a half, two hours later they all show up at the wedding with shoes, hands, a top shirt, whatever it was. I mean I got like a glimpse of it. I saw photos after the fact. Like I said, I wasn't the DJ in that room, I was in the other room, two rooms at this joint. Oh, my goodness gracious. They had like an hour and a half for the ceremony, for the food and the dance.

Speaker 1: 5:24

The bride was mortified and like they're blaming the dry cleaner. They're like these fuckers should have been open on Saturday. Yada, yada, yada, yada. They're trying to sue. I'm like wait, no, no, no. There's a fucking sign on the door that says Monday through Friday, x to Z. That's what the door says, okay. And it says Saturday by appointment only.

Speaker 1: 5:47

So if the dry cleaner doesn't have an appointment on Saturday, she's not coming in. Like why would she come in for? Well, no, no, no. You didn't know shit. You decided to be a lazy fuck. You didn't go on friday to pick up your stuff because you wound up getting drunk. Instead, you waited for the last minute and then you got there and you were fucked. Let's blame everybody else, but the person you need to blame who's you?

Speaker 1: 6:10

So finally they got married. I think they had like six dance songs because they wanted to stay two hours later. But the venue's like no, you're paying. Well, we got well, it's. Why is it our fault? We didn't do it. Your fucking stupid ass husband did it and his groomsman did it. Why are? Why are we giving away a free room for two hours and paying all my staff and this, that and the other thing? No, it's not happening.

Speaker 1: 6:34

So they tried to sue everybody. They tried to sue the venue, they tried to sue the dry cleaner. They tried to sue the. They tried to sue the venue, they tried to sue the dry cleaner, they tried to sue the person who was driving. They lost everything, every single thing that they tried to do. They lost miserably and they didn't even make it to like the court part. It was like shot down before it even got past. Like the lawyer, the lawyer's, like you're going to lose, you're going to lose, you're going to lose, you're going to lose, you're going to lose. I mean, they put some nasty shit up online but everybody that commented on it was like no, you're wrong. Like you're 100%, you're an idiot. So we're just like come on now.

Speaker 1: 7:10

So finally, after a while, she put the blame on who it was supposed to be, the DJ that was over there. I'm not even going to name him because he knows who he is said he played six songs. How the fuck do you play six songs? So you come in, you do the ceremony, all the food which was probably cold by that point, because the chef wasn't going to stay that late and then you feed everybody, then you play six songs and then you go home. They must have been the six most banging songs ever.

Speaker 1: 7:39

I know one of them was, yeah, by Usher. Other than that, I had no fucking idea what he played. But I mean, that's just one story I have. You're talking 30 plus years of weddings. Oh, my God, I got some. I got stories upon stories upon stories. I'm going to share some with you leading up to Thanksgiving, because it's the shit listening during the holiday. But listen, it's always good advice to have a sheet with timing of your vendors and knowing when shit's open and close. It's great advice. Take it or leave it. I'm DJ ESG. Peace, love and God above and I'm out. Bye, bye.